As Strong as You Were
by Jacob is better than Edward
Summary: Bella was changed, but can that really make Jacob forget her? Bella/Jacob. Please Read and Review. Flames welcom on my writing, just not on my couple preference, please. Not a song fic, despite the title. I suck at summeries. Just read it...
1. Leah and Emily

"_**As strong as you were, tender you go. I'm watching you breathing for the**_

_**last time."**_

_**Carry You Home, James Blunt**_

My Bella was gone. I didn't really know what that meant, because I knew she wasn't dead, but her heart had stopped beating. I swore to her I would love her until then, so why did I still long for her?

'You're disgusting,' Leah whispered in her mind.

'Leah, change. Now.' She snickered.

'Why don't you? You shouldn't even be allowed to call yourself part of the pack. Not since she changed. You want her more than anything. And she is one of them now? She's what you are supposed to protect the tribe from and you'd be willing to sacrifice all of us to call her yours.' I growled, but I knew she was right. And the whole pack knew she was right. That is what hurt the most.

'Knock it off,'-that was Sam,-'Leah, it's none of your business.'

'Sam, how can you say that? He's practically your brother and-'

'I think Jacob is right. Leah, you need to change.'

Suddenly it was quiet. Leah didn't have a choice but to change if Sam told her to. It was a relief to not be ridiculed because of what happened to Bella.

'Jacob, do want the rest of us to change-give you some time to yourself?'

'Do you mind?' Right at that moment, I didn't hear any of my brothers' thoughts. It was finally peaceful. I had to remember to thank Sam. His authority was sometimes frightening, but right now, much appreciated. We weren't allowed to contradict Sam _ever_ or we would all be in serious trouble.

I had a feeling Sam knew what I was going through. As much as Leah pissed us all off, she was Sam's first love, and truly his soul mate, but as soon as he saw Emily, Leah didn't even matter anymore. We all knew he wanted to be with Leah the way she wanted him to be. He longed to make her happy, but his relationship with Emily was the most powerful thing he had known and Emily had become his whole life. I just needed to figure out who Bella was to me.

Was Bella my Leah-the woman who I wanted to be with more than anything, but a force more powerful than love had kept us apart? Or was she my Emily-my air, my sun? Was she the one who could keep me alive, the one who I would sacrifice everything for? I knew for the good of the tribe, she should be my Leah, but I wasn't sure if that was the case.

I shook my head, disgusted with myself. I was letting my pack down and destroying everything I had worked so hard to earn. Did I truly need to do this to them to survive. I knew the answer, as horrible as it was, and I knew I didn't have a chance at making the right decision.


	2. What I'd Find

_**"I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dreaam? And dream I do..."**_

_**Evanescence, Taking Over Me**_

I rested my head on an old log in the depths of the La Push woods. The green moss that was growing on it made a soft cushion. 

I hadn't changed in weeks. Eccept fot the occational check up from Sam, I was all alone. He hadn't allowed anyone else to change. I tried to be the big, tough wolf with no feelings, but that proved to be a challenge and I actually bagan to get lonely. But I didn't want any of them to come and be with me- I only wanted her. 

I had tried to tell my self not to go see her. What would be the point? I would only see that she was one of them and know that we would never be together. That thought killed me. On the other hand, I could find she was still my Bella, despite the cold, hard exterior. I found that one hard to believe, but, God, did I want to. 

The rain had just began to fall. At first I was sheltered but soon, it fell harder and harder, soaking my thick fur. I made my way through the woods and eventually found myself at the beach where we first met. That memory had all but faded. I laughed at Bella's pathetic attempts at flirting. She tried so hard to look like one of those girls in the forties movies hopelessly in love with a cold owner of a barteneder. But then again, I gladly accepted her attempts because, to tell the truth, I wanted her. I was a stupid sixteen year old wih one thing in mind. I guess that made me as pathetic as she was. 

Now, at nineteen, I felt ashamed at my first intentions of her. She had become so much more than a girl who I lusted after. Though, I had to admit, sometimes that was on my mind, I really did respect her. She was my best friend and my soul mate. I could just... be with her and nothing else would matter. 

Sry 4 the short chap, guys!. I'll write more 2nite!

Love, love!


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